My Story

Hello & welcome to Friendshift!

As a young adult, I struggled to feel connected. I filled my time with work, socialising and dating, but although my life looked full and successful to those arounf me, on the inside I often felt exhausted, disconnected, and uncomfortable in my own skin. I had good people in my life, but struggled to build balanced, healthy friendships. I spent my energy trying to ‘fit in’ – shutting down the parts of myself that I assumed other people wouldn’t like, and trying my hardest not to upset anyone with my opinions, wants or needs. I’d learnt, somewhere along the line, that it was my job to make other people feel okay, even if that came at my own expense. I lacked the confidence to just be 'me,' or struggled to ask for help when I needed it. 

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As we got older and my friends' priorities shifted towards their partners and their children, I felt more and more adrift. ​I realised I was looking for a romantic relationship just to fill a void, and started to think hard about what it meant to have enjoyable, confident, trust-based friendships in my early thirties.​ I started talking. To people struggling – like me - to find the support, fun and emotional intimacy they craved, outside of a romantic relationship. And to others, leading empowered, deeply connected lives with powerful friendships at their centre. I spent years talking, learning, absorbing everything I could from them, and went on a journey of stepping into my own power. 

Inspired by Brene Brown, I learnt how to do 'small talk.' To set boundaries. To show vulnerability, build trust, and to show up authentically in a way that’s much more in keeping with my natural energy. I learnt how to be there for other people without exhausting myself, and I learnt how to manage the impact of my ADHD on my relationshops. I had to let some people go who just weren’t good for me, trusting that new people would come in to my life to fill the space. And I’ve learnt to take responsibility for my health and happiness.​ I now go through every day knowing that I'm cared for and loved, with friends who would fly across the world for me (and I for them).

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Now I work with amazing people who are where I was. People who are thoughtful, reflective and kind, and are struggling with the skills and confidence to create the kinds of friendships they're looking for. 

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The Inner Circle is growing to be the culmination of everything I know - a cosy corner of the internet where it's normal to talk about friendship, as well as an integrated community & learning experience which will eventually include everything I know about how to build brilliant friendships.

I can't wait to see you there.

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